Now that we're entering the cold and flu season, it's time to start thinking about what you're going to do with all that extra snot your body will be creating. As a doctor, I'm always appalled by how much perfectly good snot goes to waste this time of year. And with people in warm climates generating almost no snot of their own, this really is a tragedy.

For my money, no time is better for snot than snack time. And if you're one of those baffling people who's skittish about serving and ingesting actual snot, I've got a substitute that's almost as good as the real thing.

Of course, snot comes in two varieties: Cold, dried snot (also called boogers) and hot, liquid snot (or phlegm). You may have heard the familiar taunt as a child: "You think you're hot snot on a silver platter, but you're really just cold boogers on a paper plate." This month, Dr. Dare will show you how to serve either (or both!) to your holiday guests.

Here's what you'll need:

• at least an eight-ounce jar of processed cheese spread
• green food coloring (I know you saw that coming.)
• tortilla chips, other dipping items
• pretzel sticks
• waxed paper
• silver platter (if mom says no, any shiny silver-ish metal will do)
• paper plate

Hot Snot on a Silver Platter

1) Start by melting the processed cheese spread in the microwave or in a pan on top of the stove, following the directions on the package. Allow it to cool slightly.

2) Carefully stir in about three drops of food coloring. It's important not to get your snot too green. You want it to be as realistic looking at possible.

3) Reheat just before guests arrive.

4) Spoon on to silver platter surrounded by tortilla chips and crackers.

5) Blow your nose often as guests help themselves, apologizing for you cold.

Cold Boogers on a Paper Plate

1) Follow steps one and two above.

2) Dip and twist the end of a pretzel stick into the hot snot. Wait a ten to twenty seconds. Repeat with the same stick.

3) Each time you dip, the booger will get bigger. When you get the size you want, set your booger carefully onto the wax paper with the pretzel sticking up.

4) Create as many boogers as you need.

5) Allow your lumpy boogers to cool (not in fridge) for at least ten minutes.

6) Carefully pull them off the wax paper and arrange them beautifully on a paper plate. If you want, you can remove the pretzel sticks in order to require your guests to actually touch the boogers to eat them.

7) Serve and enjoy.

Dr. Dare's Odd Biblical Tie-In

OK, I'll admit it. In real life, you'd never want to save your (or anybody else's) mucous membranes. And you certainly wouldn't want to serve the genuine article at a party. (Although the fake stuff will really gross out your friends and taste good at the same time.) The only good thing to do with germ-ridden snot is to get rid of it. Blow it. Toss it. Flush it.

Once snot leaves your body it is worthless. In Philippians, Paul used a word for worthless that comes from something much grosser than snot- animal excrement. He was making the point that compared to knowing Christ-everything was worthless:

"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ," (Phil. 3:8).

"Hey!", (you might ask),"where's the solid excrement part? In our newer translations of the New Testament the Greek word "skubalon" (which can be translated as animal waste, rubbish, dregs, things udesirable and detestable) has been translated "rubbish". Check out the King James version below.

Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, (Phil 3:8) The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

So get rid of your snot this cold and flu season-and think about flushing anything else in your life that is keeping you from knowing Christ better.