Wisdom On…New Year’s Resolutions
December is a good time to spend with God reflecting on the previous year. I have been doing this intentionally since 1989. I know some people hate New Year Resolutions, but if they are your kind of thing here are some things I've learned along the way that may be helpful.As New Year's Day 1989 approached, my friend Adam and I each prayerfully listed 89 goals we hoped to accomplish in 1989. I was surprised when I came to the end of the year how many of the 89 goals had been completed.
I wondered why? For year's I had been making New Year's resolutions and had never really kept (or remembered) them. Here's why I think I did (and I am going to take a long path to explain why, so hang in there).
Look at the picture below. What do you see?
An apple right? Now how did you know it was an apple? Look at the picture below. Is that an apple too?
What if I take a bite? Is it still an apple?
How about this one?
and is this still an apple?
All of those pictures are of apples, but what defines an apple in our minds? God created our brains to be nothing short of amazing.
- It can't just be something green (that would include limes and leave out red apples)
- It can't just be something round, red and/or green (because we are still able to recognize an apple when a bite is out of it, and it would include bell peppers and Christmas ornaments too!)
- It can't just be something with a skin and white flesh and seeds, because we recognize pictures and drawings of apples too.
So what does fuzzy logic have to do with New Year's resolutions?
Typically we come up with resolutions that are "fuzzy".
- I want to lose weight
- I want to be more generous
- I want to do better in school
- etc
This is what happened while I was writing my 89 goals for 1989. I ran out of fuzzies and had to get more specific! Here's an example:
Fuzzy Goal: I want to read my Bible more.
That is a great goal, but we can do even better by breaking the fuzzy goal into several smaller, measurable goals. What exactly does reading my Bible more look like when I think deeply about it?
1. I want to read the Bible for 35 minutes a day.
2. I want to read the book of Mark.
3. I want to read the book of Proverbs 5 times.
4. I want to write a short paragraph about what I'm reading once a week.
5. I want to share something that I read with a friend once a week.
See how really thinking about Bible reading helped me come up with specifics?
My goal isn't just about Bible reading but reading specific books. But for what reason? Just to read? No, I wanted to learn, so I included writing a paragraph about what I read in my own words. I also want to learn and grow and share too, so I made that part of the goal.
Now I've made the smaller goals pretty specific. But real life is "fuzzy " So once the rules are written I realize that 35 minutes may actually be slightly more or less than that. Why is this important?
Once you write down your list, life is going to happen. God will bring people and situations into your life to help you learn more about His purposes for you and who he made you to be. If you'd only seen green apples and then encountered a red one, you'd have to alter your understanding of "apple". While you may stick to the list for several weeks and months, change happens. Feel free to change your goals as well.
When I have a fuzzy idea like "apple" I can change my understanding of it while keeping true to the big idea of "apple". Same thing with our resolutions. When you have a fuzzy goal "like read your bible more" you can change the sub goals goals while keeping the bigger one.
Try this resolution on for size: I want to be more kind in 2009.
That is a great goal but what is wrong with it? It is hard to measure in it's "fuzzy" state. What do I "do" to become more kind? We all know what a kind person looks like, but like the apple, what are the specifics?
- a kind person holds the door open for others
- a kind person wants others to know who Christ is
- a kind person helps someone carry their load
- a kind person encourages others.
- and the list can go on and on and on...
From this you make your resolutions.
- help one person at school that is not a close friend
- invite others who normally sit alone to eat lunch with me once a week
- do something each day for my parents without them asking
- say something unusually encouraging to someone each day
One of my goals was to improve my writing. So I made smaller goals like these:
Fuzzy Goal : Improve my writing
Write one short story each week
Write one poem a month
Read a book on writing
As the year went on, I realized poetry was not my strength, so I removed that and replaced it with something else. (sometimes too, we get too ambitious and have to drop smaller goals, that is okay too as long as we stick to the fuzzy one)
To sum it all up:
- Prayerfully reflect on the year and ask God to help you define some fuzzy goals.
- Think about those deeply and break them into personal, smaller, measurable goals.
- Ask God for his strength to help you become the person he wants you to be even if that meanschanging some of your goals.
- Share your goals with others. God created us to live and grow in relationships with others.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9Happy New Year!
About Mark Matlock
Mark is founder of PlanetWisdom.com and the nationwide PlanetWisdom Conferences. For nearly two decades, he has ministered to youth pastors, students, and their parents. Focusing on transferring Biblical wisdom, Mark’s the author of the recent six book series Wisdom On…, What Does God Want From Me?, and Don’t Buy the Lie. In Fall 2008, Mark launched the nation-wide initiative Real World Parents aimed at reclaiming the Biblical role for families across the country. He resides in Dallas with his wife, Jade, and his two children.
myspaceprofile Newyear on Dec 21, 2009 said...
I have several New Years resolutions: Get into shape, eat better, work harder in school, break bad habits, learn from my mistakes, do more things for my community and school, etc. The problem is I can never reach these. Sure, I’ll attempt to, but I never, or very rarely get into a routine.
myspaceprofile New year