Worst Job Ever
Our congrats to Katharine Tuck, 13, of Utah, for landing herself the $2500 prize for smelliest sneaker. I know a few middle-schoolers who could give her a run for her money, but they're all (really sweaty) guys. Who says girls can't compete in the really important things?
Our condolences, though, to the poor saps forced to judge the contest. Imagine getting hired for this gig:
"George, we think you're qualified to represent our corporation in a big-budget publicity event by judging between closely qualified and competitive candidates. The bad news? Well, you've got to stick your nose in the worst-smelling shoes we could find in the whole country -- and take a big whiff -- and pretend you're having a good time. Trust us, though, this is just a stepping-stone to judging much more prestigious contests, like, say, worst amateur rap song -- or most undercooked pork products. Yes, the sky's the limit from here -- right after you fill your lungs with the airborne bacteria of teenage toe cheese."
Remember, kids. Stay in school.
Our condolences, though, to the poor saps forced to judge the contest. Imagine getting hired for this gig:
"George, we think you're qualified to represent our corporation in a big-budget publicity event by judging between closely qualified and competitive candidates. The bad news? Well, you've got to stick your nose in the worst-smelling shoes we could find in the whole country -- and take a big whiff -- and pretend you're having a good time. Trust us, though, this is just a stepping-stone to judging much more prestigious contests, like, say, worst amateur rap song -- or most undercooked pork products. Yes, the sky's the limit from here -- right after you fill your lungs with the airborne bacteria of teenage toe cheese."
Remember, kids. Stay in school.
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