What Narcissism Means to Me

I stole the title of this blog post from a book by poet Tony Hoagland. It might be the best title ever, at least in my opinion.

Narcissism, defined by Princeton’s online dictionary as ”an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself,“ is on the rise. According to a recent report by the authors of a long-term study of college students, your generation is more into self than ever before. And these guys don’t think that’s a good thing.

"We need to stop endlessly repeating 'You're special' and having children repeat that back," said the study's lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. "Kids are self-centered enough already."

Their survey of over 16,000 college students revealed that lots more people are likely now (as opposed to 25 years ago) to answer ”yes“ to statements like, ”"If I ruled the world, it would be a better place," "I think I am a special person" and "I can live my life any way I want to."

If you don’t see any problem with that, Prof. Twenge and co. say your romantic relationships could be in big trouble, for starters.

“Narcissists ‘are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth, and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over-controlling and violent behaviors.’ ”

Christians are certainly capable of selfishness and narcissism (at least I am), but that only proves that we’re not practicing the upside-down teaching of God’s Word. Jesus famously said we can’t follow Him without denying ourselves. (Luke 9:23) Paul wrote that we must not think of ourselves too highly (Romans 12:3) and we should treat each other as more important than ourselves (Romans 12:10). And James warned that selfish ambition is the opposite of wisdom and always leads to yucky stuff. (James 3:13-16)

More than ever, those willing to make themselves nothing will stand out in a culture that’s all about making something of ourselves.